Alcohol Concern, a leading organization in the UK working on alcohol-related issues, is worried about a growing number of middle-class moms who drink wine after they put the kids to bed.
It’s called the ‘wine o’clock’ culture and apparently, it’s gotten so bad that one mom passed out on her front porch and ended up in the emergency room, after being found by a neighbor. The mom explained that she initially started drinking out of boredom and loneliness, once she put the kids to sleep.
It’s interesting though, because I can relate to wanting to fill that time after the kids go to bed. The way moms see it, the kids have their time with us–all day. We give them everything.
Don’t we deserve time to ourselves to do things that make us feel good?
So after we say the final, “Night-night” the party begins! Pull out the confetti, the streamers and a glass of wine…or weed.
What’s really going on that moms are drinking so much? According to research done by Alcohol Concern, of 1,250 people they surveyed, parents are twice as likely to be ‘dependent’ drinkers than those without children.
When I found myself lighting up every night, maybe I’ll call it the ‘smoke o’clock’ culture, I can now say that I was stuck. I didn’t have any clear goals and without that I had nowhere to go. Weed made me feel alive. Invincible. Like I could do anything that popped into my head. When I was high I wasn’t a stressed out, flabby mom who was living well under her achievement level. I could forget for those moments that most times I hated my life. That what I had pictured for myself in my 40’s was nothing like what I was living. One of my biggest complaints was that I didn’t have enough time. Being a mom to two little ones was taking everything, leaving me with crumbs.
How was I ever supposed to have a successful writing career when I had no time to write? I was always tired. So when I told myself that I needed to ‘knock of the edge’ at night, I meant it.
Crazy thing is nothing sucks away time like weed. I’d try to write and find myself going over and over the same thoughts a thousand times. Was it good enough? Sometimes weed told me that I had just written the greatest article known to man- “This is going viral in three days !” It would shout, louder than fireworks in the sky- other times it was pure crap and I knew it. Which meant that I was never going to go anywhere, so screw it, might as well take another puff!
When it comes to drinking, women are advised not to exceed more than one-and-a-half glasses of wine a day. There’s no advice for weed. One day I just stopped. But unlike the mom who got rushed to ER after she passed out on the porch, for me it took getting out of the habit of smoking. One day I decided that I had taken my last puff. I was tired of watching everyone on social media living their lives while I stayed at home puffing my life away. It was hard at first. As evening would approach, when normally I would be snapping my fingers and doing a little two-step in anticipation of my nighttime treat, I had nothing to look forward to but work. It took time retraining myself into accepting that work was the treat. That setting and achieving goals one step at a time was rewarding.
Now I had a real opportunity to change my life and it felt good.
It’s been months and it still feels good.
This article first appeared on Madamenoire.com October 9, 2015