The other day I was looking at the new Louis Vuitton women’s wear ad featuring Jaden Smith.
For many of us it looks cool, ‘Ooh Jaden is confident!” some even say, sexy. But who among us would actually date a man in a skirt? Is it one of those things that’s cool from a distance? Like in a magazine? The majority of us will never know. In the meantime though, I have an idea of what it’s like because of what happened to my bestie…
They met at a club in Manhattan where he was beautifully dressed in a kilt. Tall, dark-skinned, sexy and from Scotland (yes, you heard me right) and of Caribbean descent. She loved it all. They danced the night away, went back to her crib, didn’t have sex, but did talk until dawn. They had lots of things in common, including a love of the book ‘The Alchemist,’ which she had just finished reading.
Could he be The One? she thought, walking him to the door.
Later that evening, he came back over to take her to get something to eat. When she opened the door she was surprised to find him standing there still wearing the kilt. It was weird because he did change his shirt. Oh well, she thought, making an excuse to stay in. The skirt was cute at the club, but having it accompany them around the corner to grab a bite to eat was the equivalent of him wearing a three-piece suit.
What would her neighbors think?
Still, they had a great time chatting it up. He was a musician in a band that had relocated to New York, and had only been in town for six months. Getting to know him felt fresh like morning dew.
The next day they met for a movie and to her dismay, Mr. Scotland showed up in the skirt. This time with a blazer, but still. At this point, she was getting scared. What if this was the only bottom he owned? What would her Mom say?
That’s when she called me, panicking, and I had to step in.
“Okay, girl, I got an idea, tomorrow’s the weekend. Invite him to the park, tell him you want to introduce him to your friends, and tell him we might play volleyball.”
And sure enough, homeboy showed up to the park in the kilt with matching sweat socks to his knees and tennis shoes. I just looked at my girl, shook my head, and we both knew. They had to have the talk.
The following day she called him on the phone and explained that although she was really enjoying his company–his accent alone gave her those good chills–she just couldn’t do the skirt.
“Can’t you wear a pair of jeans the next time we meet?”
He was quiet.
“Look, this isn’t easy for me, and I’m not trying to insult you, but I have to be honest. This is America. It’s too much.”
Finally, he spoke.
“I’ve been here before, and I really thought you were different. There are things I’d change about you too, but overall I accept you the way you are. Today it’s the skirt, tomorrow what will it be?”
“I can’t believe he broke up with meeeeeeeee!!!!!” She sobs, tears burning through the phone like acid. Damn. I was kinda shocked that he chose the skirt over her. And I never dreamed she’d be this upset. Was it my fault? I hoped I hadn’t pressured her into doing something that she didn’t want to do. I had to fix this because, ultimately, I didn’t want to be responsible for her unhappiness. What if she never found another dude like this?
“Girl, the skirt wasn’t that bad,” I tell her.
The following day they patch things up. He didn’t like the way things ended either. So dating resumes, both are happy, and everyone gets used to the skirt, until one day I’m shocked to see him in jeans. “What the heck happened?” I whisper to her while he’s at the bar getting us some drinks. She says that he wears them from time to time. It’s no big deal. Then she takes off her hat and I see that the signature hair weave that usually cascades down her back is gone, and in its place is a cute little pixie cut.
“What happened to your hair!” I scream.
“Oh, he wanted to see my face,” she says, blushing from ear-to-ear.
Talk about change.
Two months later, his band went to London and my girl went with him. Today they have three kids, a girl and two boys. They all wear skirts. And jeans.
Thanks for the trip down down memory lane Jaden!
This article appeared on Madamenoire 1/8/16