When it comes to gay black dads you won’t find a more famous couple than Kaleb and Kordale who won our hearts a few years ago when a picture of them combing their daughters’ hair went viral. In no time, Nikon swooped them up for an ad campaign featuring them and their 3 kids in a video just living their daily lives, and their instagram exploded with followers. Just when it seemed like things could get no better, they broke up, sending many of their fans into therapy. Kaleb posted an instagram message that alluded to the fact that Kordale may have been unfaithful- say it ain’t so!- and then like a page out of ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta,’ they got back together, and to speed things up, now everything is fine and they’re expecting baby #5 via a surrogate in the fall. Talk about drama!
While I love when couples work things out, especially when kids are involved, I have to bring up the elephant in the room.
Here are two very popular gay men living in Atlanta, the black gay capital of the world, with what we strongly speculate to be a history of infidelity. What are the chances that they’re going to stay monogamous? And it’s not that they’re gay that makes me question how faithful they can be, it’s that they’re men. If we accept that men and women are wired differently and men have a harder time being with one person, I’m thinking this family might not make it past sundown and what about the future of those kids?
Curious to get an outside, or perhaps, inside view, I discuss it with Jamal, a gay friend in his 30’s.
He says, “If two people want to be together they will find a way. If they are TRULY committed to each other Big City temptations and social media shouldn’t play a role at all. It’s about the strength of the bond they’ve created. It’s a no brainer to me.”
Devon, another gay friend in his late 40’s isn’t as optimistic.
“Unfortunately,” he says, “the gay culture, especially the young ones, tend not to be monogamous. I choose to be exclusive because I’m not trying to be out there catching any diseases.”
He tells me he’s been cheated on multiple times, and once, years ago, he was the cheater, but that was because the relationship was already going down. I ask him if cheating is a gay thing or a male thing?
“It’s both. Males tend to be more promiscuous when it comes to sex, so when you have two males in a relationship it’s twice as likely to happen.”
“But if the cheating was a wakeup call that things weren’t what they thought it was then they can build from there. If they can talk about what took place and how it made them feel and really connect on that emotional level they can still make it as a couple. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely possible.”
It’s interesting because he’s saying the same thing that one of my girlfriends said years ago when her husband cheated on her. It was a wakeup call that neither one of them was being honest in the relationship. Once he cheated, they had to confront all the dark, uncomfortable parts of their couple, which was helped by therapy and lots of talking. She won’t say that she’s happy that he cheated, but it did open the door to a much stronger, more meaningful, and honest relationship. Today they’re happily married with four kids.
Alright, so it looks like Kaleb and Kordale have as good a chance at making it as Jay and Bey or any other couple that has fought back from infidelity. If they keep the lines of communication open and stay committed, they should be fine. With five kids that’s all anyone can hope for. Personally, I’m rooting for them!